The First Question of Behavior Change: Is That True?

Beliefs drive behaviors. And most of the beliefs we hold were given to us early in life or unconsciously adopted as adults. We are all operating on outdated beliefs in certain areas of life that are holding us back from meeting our goals and ideal life. The first step to updating your beliefs is to identify what they are. We do this with awareness of our thoughts and words. Start to become aware of the “I am”, “I can’t”, and “I don’t” statements you make (both internally and externally). And when you hear one, then its time to ask the first question of behavior change: “is that true?”

Here are a few of the “I am”, “I can’t”, and “I don’t” comments i’ve heard from clients & athletes in the last few weeks:

• “i’m not an early morning eater”

• “I’m not built to gain muscle”

• “i’m a mess”

• “i’m an old fart”

• “I can’t stick to a program”

• “I can’t eat that much”

• “I don’t have time for that”

These are statements of identity. Something we’ve been told or decided about ourselves at some point in the past. But “is that true?” It’s the first question I ask when I hear these statements, if I think the client is in a space to be curious. It’s important to enter into that question with curiosity. Because it is a question that will challenge someones sense of self, their identiy. It’s natural for people to get defensive when their identity is challenged. And once we have our defenses up, its tough to answer the question honestly.

If you ask yourself the question and are able to sit with it in a space of curiosity here are some follow up questions:

• “what evidence do I have to support that?”

• “At what point did I begin to believe that?“

• “what would my life look like 6 months from now if I believed the opposite of that.”

• “What evidence would I need to begin believing the opposite?”

• “What 3 actions today would help build that evidence?”

• “Am I willing to try those 3 actions everyday for the next 3 days?”

Here is how this played out for one of my clients recently who wants to change their body composition by reducing body fat and maintaining lean muscle mass:

Me: “We’re going to need to come up with some ways to get more protein, do you think you could add anything in for breakfast?”

Client: “I’m not a morning eater.”

Me": “Is that true?”

Client: “Yes, I can’t remember the last time i’ve had something before 11am.”

Me: “So what I hear you saying is that you haven’t tried eating something before 11am in while.”

Client: “Well yeah, because i’m not hungry.”

Me: “Maybe its not about hunger. Is it possible your body just figured out how to operate with out it?”

“Client: “…yeah I guess thats possible.”

Me: “Would you be willing to try and see if it is hungry for just the rest of this week?”

Client: “I could try”

Me: “Cool, what do you think would taste good, feel light, and gets you the extra protein you need?”

Client: “I could move my afternoon greek yogurt to breakfast and find something else for the afternoon.”

Me: “Love that idea! We’ll touch base at the end of the week to see how you feel.”

Three weeks later and this client is now a “morning eater.” At some point they adopted that old belief. Their body adjusted and stopped sending the hunger signal. It took a new desired outcome (body composition) and curiosity, to drive the courage to do something different…to be someone different.

So my question to you is: what beliefs do you need to update to live the life you want? And are you curious and courageous enough to do it?

Cheers - Al